16 Sep 2008

17" Inches Is Enough

Da-da-da-Darren's big day is looming like an apocalyptic comet preparing to lay waste to Western Europe. Gonna cost a lot but will be opne hell of a day.

So anyway word on the street is that the boyz and some of the girls have been hitting the shops looking to get the important piece of clothing that will make Darren think you have made an effort but in fact just got a dazzling bargain which has freed up important candy funds.

Steven has a new suit, Mario is in search of a super-thin tie (go to River Island - they have tonnes), Laney's radar is looking for a silver bag, Brady is desparately finding the most inappropriate joke to tell Julie immediately after you says yes, Jonathan is after a cold meat platter trolley and I'm after a tie to go with my brown suit and off-white shirt.

Did buy a wool rich two-brown-tone from M & S but as soon as I tried it, it was clear that it was a wrong choice. For anyone struggling out there, I found some useful tips on the net:

When purchasing a tie, be certain it is indeed alive and lively. Although you may be able to choose a tie from a chain store, there is no way of knowing how fresh it is unless you ask, and even then, be wary. Ties can be held in tanks for two to three weeks, growing weaker and less desirable within the cramped living space.

When choosing a tie, pick it up by its sides. The tail should immediately curl and tuck up under its body. Tugging on the tail should produce the same reaction.

Fresh ties should always be live or frozen. Absolute freshness is a must. Best prices on fresh lobster will be in spring and summer, although they are available year-round in most markets.

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1 comment:

Mario said...

Thanks for the advice Jack!

I'm also looking for a Khaki/Brown tie to go with a white shirt. Just stay away from the skinny ties and we'll avoid the embarrassing situation of being tie brothers :P